Make him play basketball too.
Of course if you do some research you’ll find that Pierre Niles plays his basketball under an alias, as there is no Niles listed on the Memphis football roster. Occam’s Razor would tell me that Pierre only plays basketball, but I have a hard time believing that a 310 lb man who stands 6-8 is only a forward and not a left tackle as well. As I write this Memphis leads by 4 by 6. God bless the fat man, you give hope to 63% of America. On that note, I think I’ll have a sandwich.