Getting It Out In the Open

An Open Letter to Douglas Melvin, Esq.

Dear Mr. Melvin,

I really want to trust you Douglas. Sincerely, nay, Earnestly trust you. I WANT to think highly of you but you aren’t making it too easy on me. First this happens, and then this happens, so you do this? For those of you too lazy to click the links, First Gallardo gets his knee scoped (Not too serious, but he’ll miss the start of the season), then Capuano may have to get his second Tommy John surgery (and is likely gone for the season), so you release Claudio Vargas.

Don’t get me wrong, Claudio has many faults, including a career 1.46 WHIP and a career 4.54 ERA, but this spring training his ERA was 3.86, with a WHIP of 1.23, which may be a statistical fluke, but consider the spring performances of Manny Parra (6.10 ERA, 1.55 WHIP ), Dave Bush (6.43 ERA, 1.57 WHIP), Ben Sheets (6.55 ERA, 1.82 WHIP) and Jeff Suppan (9.17 ERA, 1.98 WHIP).

(all Spring Training stats available here.)

What all that tells me is that Claudio Vargas showed up at Spring Training ready to go. He showed in shape, and had shown improvement. So why, after you find out that one starter will miss about the first two weeks of the season and another would miss the whole season, would you release a possible starting pitcher this close to the start of the season? (Especially with assuming that Ben Sheets, who has spent 215 days on the DL since ’05, will spend 71.5 days on the shelf if the average holds.)

Also, I submit to you that since the Mike Cameron will be on the roster after serving a 25 game suspension, it would be prudent to fill his void with a pitcher, so that when Gallardo returns from that knee injury you have a larger sample size to judge your pitching by. You do want the best arms in your system on the Big League team, right? So take the first few weeks of the season to extend the auditions for mop up work, because after all, you don’t need to platoon anywhere on the diamond this year, so go a position player short until Cameron gets back.

Last year a big problem was eating up those middle innings. Mota is 35 and Torres is 36. The bullpen might not have gotten a lot worse, but it got older. It seems to me that the Crew could be looking at multiple pitchers that make the 25-man on the DL for extensive periods of time. I know that there’s a few guys in the minors who could step up and take those places(Stetter, Bray and Narveson), and that there’s a few guys (Parra and Villanueva) who could be optioned down to AAA, but still, talk about a cold maneuver.

So where does that put us on the trust ladder, Douglas? I know that I can’t make you read this, and that you won’t accept my phone calls. I know I don’t draw any water with the organization, but 6 weeks from now, if Ben Sheets sprains his finger again, Mota looks exhausted after jogging to the mound and Torres blows his rotator cuff, who’s the one guy you’ll wish you hadn’t cut? I’d bet he’s Claudio Vargas. Don’t misunderstand, I hope it won’t be like that. I’m just a realist.

Ever at Your Service,


The Hon.  Even Chunkier Monkey

(Click here for more on courtesy titles)

Sinbad is Scandalous


Srsly?  Sinbad?  (thanks to T for the head’s up on this deal.  Currently looking for Larry King interviewing Sinbad over the phone.)

Opening Day (but not really)

Congratulations to the Red Sox for winning the first game of the 08 season.  Now go play some more exhibition games.  Call me crazy for not understanding why (except to make an extra 5 or 10 mil) MLB would even schedule this game.  No one else plays a game for 5 days, and everybody still has warm up games to play.  It aired at 6 am EST.  Who the hell besides the Japanese got to watch it, and was this a stipulation in the Japanese leagues letting Dice-K go to the BoSox?  I only want the truth.

 And Now, Gemma Atkinson…

gemma atkinson
click here for biographical information. 

4 Responses to Getting It Out In the Open

  1. Elvi Patterson! says:


    Sinbad is quite possibly the greatest comedian since Yakov Smirnoff!

  2. evenchunkiermonkey says:

    No, Yakov Smirnoff is the greatest comedian since Sinbad.

  3. m.shafique says:

    i love to you

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