Aww, Heck.

Dateline – Milwaukee Brewers ClubhouseEarlier today Mike Cameron signed a one year rental agreement with the Milwaukee Brewers. Here’s a fly on the wall account of it’s aftermath…

doug melvinmikecameron (Doug Melvin and Mike Cameron are holding each other close)

(Tony Gwynn Jr. bursts in)

tony gwynn jr. – You son of a biscuit eating bulldog!

doug melvin – What the French, toast?

tony gwynn jr. – Did you think I would not find about your little doo doo head cootie queen?

mikecameron – Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker?

tony gwynn jr. – Pickle you, Kum Quat!!

doug melvin – You’re over-reacting.

tony gwynn jr. – No, Doug. Over reacting was when I put your convertible into a wood chipper, Stinky Mc Stink face! (dumps box containing the remains of Doug’s car on the carpet)

mikecameron – YOU HOBOKEN!!

tony gwynn jr.doug melvinmikecameron (Gwynn tries to pull Mikes hair as Doug attempts to hold them apart)

burnie brewer – Fabulous New Free Agent Signing cleans another dirty mouth, For a good clean feeling, no matter what!

**Postscript to uninspired ripoff of a gum commercial**

I probably could’ve gone with a doublemint ad, because the only way I can tell Gwynn and Cameron apart is by the hat they’re wearing. They both even wear the brim of their cap the same way. They both smile the same way. I can’t wait for Cameron’s Brewers headshot to come out, so that I can try to tell the difference when Mike is not wearing a Padres cap.

??mikecameron=tony gwynn jr.??
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3 Responses to Aww, Heck.

  1. joseffreedom says:

    They all look alike to you dont’ they

  2. evenchunkiermonkey says:

    Lets see if you can pass the “Mike or Tony?” test when the media guide comes out.

  3. Andrew says:

    Two things.

    1) You need wacky pun related names, like CamCameron and MelvinToast.

    2) Mike Cameron has a bigger head and belongs to the West Coast Crooked Hat Society.

    All in all, I give it a C+, good effort, but as a world famous sports blogger, it needs improvement.

    LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I AM REGULARLY LINKED ON DEADSPIN!

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