What If The Playoffs Were To Decide Tom Petty’s Halftime Setlist?

What if, and this is strictly hypothetical here, the teams in the playoffs were each Tom Petty songs, and they were battling to make the Super Bowl Halftime setlist? Wow, that is an interesting premise, youtom petty say? I thought so too.

Matchup/Mashup – Seattle (You Don’t Know How it Feels) @ Green Bay (I Won’t Back Down)

Monkey – This one’s been called the most evenly matched playoff game. Frankly I am of the opinion that all the games except for NYG/DAL look pretty good. So what’s the difference between these two teams? Since the addition of Ryan Grant, the Packers can run the ball, while Shaun Oldexander couldn’t push his way through a supermarket checkout. Both teams can throw the ball effectively, but Seattle is more dependent on the pass. With two shutdown corners, I like the Packer’s chances. Plus You Don’t Know How it Feels won’t make the Super Bowl setlist because it has the words “Lets Get to the Point/Let’s Roll another Joint” Green Bay by 10.

(DVOA) – Green Bay by 9.3%

Matchup/Mashup – Jacksonville (Refugee) @ New England (Free-Fallin’)

Monkey – Well, the NFL’s best wildcard is rolling into the backyard of the NFL’s ‘best’ team. What’s going to happen? I don’t know for sure, but I do know that Indy is glad they have the Chargers and not one of these teams. Can a run-first Jags team that plays mistake free football overcome the momentum of the pass-first Pats who also play mistake free football? I think this is the toughest test yet for the Pats, but barring another Snow Bowl, I’m picking the Pats by 3 over the Refugee Jags.

(DVOA) – New England Patriots by 28.1%

Matchup/Mashup – New York Giants (Last Dance With Mary Jane) @ Dallas (Don’t Do Me Like That)BOOBIE!!!

Monkey – The only stinker this weekend. These two teams will meet for the 3rd time this year, and even though pundits say its very difficult to beat a team three times I’m of the opinion that beating a team three times is only difficult because it means the 3rd time is a playoff game. Also, I have had it with this talk about TO perhaps not playing. He’s playing, your story is not a story. I also don’t care that Tony Romo was in Cabo with Jessica Simpson. Don’t care. Not at all. The Giants couldn’t beat the Cowboys at home, they couldn’t beat the Cowboys on the road, and they won’t beat them in the playoffs. That’s why I assigned Mary Jane to be their song. No way the NFL allows a song that says “She’s Standin’ in her Underwear” to be played at halftime. It would be like an auditory nip-slip. Dallas takes the Cake, by 14+.

(DVOA) – Dallas Cowboys by 24.5% (interesting fact: The Giants had a negative DVOA entering the postseason)

Matchup/Mashup – San Diego (American Girl) @ Indianapolis (Breakdown)

Monkey – This one could go either way. Both are good teams and both are hit songs. There’s just something that bugs me about American Girl. and San Diego. Maybe it’s the chorus, maybe its the coach. Maybe its the dependence on LDT to carry their team. Granted, if the best running back in the playoffs busts out for 200+ yards I think they’ll win, but I don’t think that a Tony Dungy team loses at home to a Norv Turner team quartebacked by a giant douche. I know that American Girl was a hit, but I just don’t see it. If you asked me, Tom Petty mailed that one in, but sometimes there is no accounting for taste. I like the Peyton Manning and the Colts by 14.

(DVOA) – Indianapolis Colts by 14.1%(all DVOA numbers are from week 17.)

2 Responses to What If The Playoffs Were To Decide Tom Petty’s Halftime Setlist?

  1. OMAR says:

    The Patriots are clearly ‘American Girl’. What’s your problem?

  2. evenchunkiermonkey says:

    I was going for Phillip Rivers = the Girl in American Girl. Also, Norv Turner analogy werks too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: