Saturday Night’s Alright for Football

4:50 – I know that the game is on, but I’m watching old episodes of the Office.

4:57 – SEA – WAS is pretty much what I expected. Unless Washington can run the 2 minute drill, the Seahawks have pitched a shutout. I almost wish this game was on the NFL network so I get me some of this:gumbel to gumbel (1)

But who wouldn’t want that?

5:01 – Nice pass defense by Seattle brings up a 4th down for Washington. Gibbs Goes for it, and Seattle will get the ball back. This one is going south for the Redskins.

5:03 – Could this be the worlds most pointless official review? Collinsworth just said extrapolated. f@#.

5:07 – Seahwaks are punting now, and I can’t say how a 3 and out could take 20 seconds. The irrepressible Todd Collins is getting another shot. Even when the Packers aren’t playing the announcers are talking Brett Favre. Even as a Packer fan I find this mildly offensive. Mildly.

5:10 – Here’s more Gumbel 2 Gumbel thumbs for your halftime pleasure…

g2g bjg2g boardwalkg2g hotdogsg2g chase2

5:20 – What a touching David Garrard interview……”He’s not going to lose games for them.” – Tiki Barber. Is there any way that compliment could be more backhanded?

5:24 – Tom Hammond looks like a slightly fatter Creed from the office. You decide….

tom hammond creed

5:28 – Seattle will punt after a promising drive ends with poor play and playcalling. Washington is being aggressive on the shorter routes, coming to meet the receivers at the point of the catch.

5:31 – Portis is getting dick in the running game. When Randle-El has 70 yards recieving why continue to give Portis the ball with his 2.whatever average? Collins just got that much on a scramble. I guess my question was just answered when Collins got mobbed and had to throw it away on a 3rd down. I also nominate Frost for toughest punter. Nice tackle son.

5:38 – Seattle isn’t even pretending the run is important. I like their commitment to the West Coast offense. Collinsworth also likes the West Coast offense.

5:39 – What a pitch and catch, props to Hassellbeck and whatshisname. Shaun Alexander doesn’t seem to care. He looks like Tiki if the NFL would have forced him to play this year. As soon as I write that he gives a good effort to get an extra 2 yards.

5:42 – Well, after Hasselbeck takes a shot on his knee, the Seahawks get a field goal, makes it 13-0. This could end up being the worlds most boring 23-0 game of American Football ever.

5:48 – I don’t think I’ve ever seen two starting running backs look less inspired, or a white tight end make a running one handed grab for a first down.

5:49 – Maybe its the Seattle defense, Maybe it’s Clinton Portis. Does it really matter though, when Chris Cooley keeps bailing his team out with 1st down catches?

5:51 – FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!! God, I hope to see a playoff brawl. Portis is playing uninspired football. I haven’t seen him get 3 yards on any one carry, much less average 3 yards a carry.

5:54 – Pass Interference is a real bitch, ain’t it? Washington will get a couple shots at the end zone. The first one is 6 yards short, the 2nd is almost picked, I can’t wait to see the third…randle-el

5:59 – The first play of the 4th quarter is a Touchdown pass to Randle-El, who is having the best game of all the players on his team. I really don’t think that he can bail out Portis and Clinton’s complete lack of fire.

6:02 – PICK!!!! but not six. Good anticipation by Landry. According to Hammond, Clinton Portis still talks to Sean Taylor. And Washington defensive players believe that Sean Taylor is still on the field with them. TD Washington. This game has changed in a hurry.

6:06 – Wham Bam What The Fuck Just Happened???

6:10 – Redskins now have another Red Zone possession. It wasn’t as strange as a punt getting stuck in the turf, but it was strange. People all over Seattle are going ape-shit right now, but for the opposite reason people in D.C. are going nuts.

6:14 – Seattle Mans Up, Redskins miss a 30 yard field goal, and the score stays 14-13 Washington.

6:16 – Seattle looks better when they shoot for the big play instead of the 5-9 yarder.

6:17 – Washington Picks off Hassellbeck, but Question, How did the corner not get a Pass Interference Call? That was a full-fledged tackle, my man. 9:42 left in the game.

6:20 – It may have been a turnover by Seattle, but the Redskins are really backed up here. The change of possessions could actually benefit the Seahawks. Washington is now punting from the end zone, and Seattle gets the ball in field goal range. I fully expect Holmgren to call 3 straight runs.Mustache Mike

6:24 – Ballsy calls by Mustache-Mike. I would have called running plays and taken the 3, but you sir, called some risky passes to the edge that have been the result of the last two turnovers. TD SEATTLE. And now they’re going for two…..and you get it. make it 21-14 ‘Hawks. Joe Gibbs 17-0 playoff record when holding the lead in the 2nd half is in serious Jeopardy.

6:29 – A 10 second block in the back will nullify a big hunk of a huge Washington return. That was perhaps the worlds most obvious and longest drawn out penalty I’ve seen. Seattle gets a PICK for 6!!! I don’t know who it was, but a Seahawk got a monster block on Redskin that made me bite my tongue.

6:34 – NOW Portis decides to show some effort. With 5 minutes left, and a 14 point hole I don’t know if it could be…..What a freaking hit. Collins went down like a porn star. And now Portis is gimped up….

6:39 – Santana Moss can jump really high. But that’s neither here nor there. 3 minutes left, and the Redskins can’t buy an uncontested pass attempt. It seems like the Seahawks are getting their mitts on every Washington pass. And the Seahawks take over on downs.

6:41 – Collinsworth wants to give the game MVP to Marcus Trufant, but I personally think it should go to DJ Hackett. I just got off the phone with T. He wanted to know what time the “good game” started. the answer is next.

6:53 – Chris Collinsworth gives Sean Taylor another U-google-ly

cc = dz

6:56 – Taking a break until the “good game”

7:13 – Gettin ready for the Pittsburgh vs Jacksonville game. Al Micheals >>> Chris Collinsworth. Najeh poops on his own return. Huge pass to Hines Ward puts the Steelers in good position, and a horsecollar PF gets Pittsburgh close. Starting out good for Big Ben and boys. I was interested to see how Mike Tomlin would compensate for the absence of Willy Parker. The Answer? Quick Hits out of spread formations, and a few plays for the Party Pooper.

7:20 – Pittsburgh is down to the 1, and the replay looks like it was a fumble that wouldve been returned for a touchdown. And now we have a challenge. To get the ball on the one yard line.

7:24 – TD Pittsburgh, Najeh’s skid-marked pants get 6.

7:28 – MJD just turned the same two Pittsburgh defenders around 3 times each on one return. Now Jacksonville gets a TD on the next play. That was quick, but maybe Jag’s fans would have liked to see a little more time off the clock, because the Defense was on the field for an 80 yd drive and now will have to go back out after 2 minutes of rest.

7:34 -How many minutes will the Jacksonville D play tonight? 34? 35? Maybe less if Pittsburgh insists on going to a running game that keeps shitting the bed. (Yes, It’s another Davenport pun, and yes I made them when he was a Packer.)

7:44 – Is “He can run” code for “He’s a black quarterback”? And did Madden just sing “Byron Leftwich you’re gone” to the NBC tune?ass pirate

7:48 – DID YOU KNOW? David Garrard played his college ball at ECU, who’s mascot looks tougher than the Oakland Raiders.

7:52 – End of the 1st quarter. 7-7

7:55 – I just saw a PIT O-lineman run TOWARD the quarterback with 3 or 4 Jaguars. Now I’m no expert, but should a guard EVER have his back to the oncoming pass rush?

7:58 – “Madden is obsessed with penetration” -T

8:00 – NEW RULE – If Michael Scott would follow up a Maddenism with “that’s what she said.” You take a drink.

8:03 – I’m all verklempt, here’s a topic for discussion, “Who will Bill Cowher be coaching next year?”

8:05 – What a catch off the deflection, I can guarantee that Chris Berman will give that one a “whoop!” when he calls the highlights drunk. And now for something completely different, the Jags return a pick for a touchdown. JAC 14 – PIT 7.

8:12 – Jesus Christ Ben, was that your second pick to the same guy? On a deep throw to Najeh Davenport?sam elliott

8:18 – MJD just cruised for a long TD catch. Omar Epps does not approve. Also, the voiceover in the Coors commercial was by Sam Elliott, who was also in the Big Lebowski, and the original Quick and The Dead.

8:23 – I am feeling bad for everyone who put money on Pittsburgh. They look terrible right now.

8:47 – T here. This game blows goats. I would rather watch my parents have sex. I think I’m going to cut myself for fun during the second half. Fuck.

8:57 – So the pizza’s been ordered, the beers have been opened, and I officially have no interest in watching too much more of this game, and even less interest in blogging about it. Konichi-wa bitches.

10:23 – OK OK, I was wrong.  Right now Jack Del Rio is challenging a catch/non-catch with 2:31 left in the 4th, with Pittsburgh leading 29-28.  I couldn’t have been more wrong about the Fat Lady singing.  I stand by my decision not to blog this, because I really just want to watch.  Kind of makes me love the NFL.


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