Thursday, Thursday, Thursday…
Green Bay @ Dallas
DVOA –>DAL by 9.8%
Monkey–>Well Geez. I am going to be half in the bag by the time this starts, as I do NOT get the NFLN at home, which means I will have to frequent a local drinking establishment in order to behold the greatness that is Brett Favre. Packers by 7.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday…
San Francisco @ Carolina
DVOA –>CAR by 11 %
Monkey–>Well, I picked Carolina last week, and they got spanked thanks to David Carr’s performance. I would have thought the NFL would have fined him for pulling his pants down a dropping a dook on the 50-yard line. I guess he got away with it because he didn’t celebrate afterwards. This week Vin-o-rama will be starting, so barring the return of Ryan Leaf II, I’ll take Carolina by 6.
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
DVOA –>IND by 19.6 %
Monkey–>God, Marvin Harrison is killing my fantasy team. The injured bastard. His absence has been a big hole that was exposed in the San Diego loss. But Joe Addia is still in the lineup, and so is Reggie Wayne. I like the Colts chances, but this game will still be close. Jacksonville is a good team, and will make the playoffs, but they won’t get win 9 this week. Indy by 3.
Detroit @ Minnesota
DVOA –>MIN by 21.6%
Monkey–>God hate the Detroit Lions. Matt Millen is his way of saying “F@#$ You, Lions fans”. I don’t see how they can win this one, on the road, with Adrian Peterson returning. Minny put the breaks on the Giant’s passing game last week, they could do the same to Detroit on Sunday. I’d love to say that both teams will lose, But that outcome is mathematically impossible. MIN by 5.
San Diego @ Kansas City
DVOA –>SD by 27.6%
Monkey–>Herman Edwards vs. Norv Turner. It’s like trying to choose between CBS’s “Till Death” or FOX’s “Cane”. They never should have got the gig in the first place, neither are very good. It’s good for the both of them that mediocrity is the byword of the NFL. My money’s on San Diego by 7.
NY Jets @ Miami
DVOA –>MIA by 5.8%
Monkey–>Rule # 2 of the 2007 NFL Season: Never pick the Miami Dolphins to win. NYJ by 10.
Buffalo @ Washington
DVOA –>WAS by 14%
Monkey–>MacGregor just can’t replace Sean Taylor. A grieving team? With no more gipper to win one for? Lee Evans will take advantage and have his 2nd good game of the year. Marshawn Lynch is out, but I think Fred Jackson could have a big game and be a sneaky fantasy pickup and play (for a really big league)… This pick kills me (sorry about the wordplay) but I gotta make i. Bills by 3.
Houston @ Tennessee
DVOA –>TEN by 5%
Monkey–>Perhaps a top 5 game of the year the last time these two met. Look for a competitive game, but for the opposite outcome. This time it’ll be Kris Brown booting the game winner. Houston by 2.
Atlanta @ St. Louis
DVOA –>ATL by 14.1%
Monkey–>The Rams have reeled off a few in a row, thanks to Steven Jackson’s return from injury. Oh yeah, and Joey Harrington or Byron “Hefty Boy” Leftwich will be starting for the Falcons. How could I say no? St. Louis by 14.
Seattle @ Philadelphia
DVOA –>SEA by 5.8%
Monkey–>Well, I can’t explain the magnificence of hearing Donovan McNabb being called overrated. I really can’t. I just hope that he never ends up in Chicago. After the defensive effort the displayed against the Patriots, I think the Eagles have really put themselves in a position of confidence. That should carry over to this game. Seattle just doesn’t have that Je ne sais quoi to thrill me. Picking the Eagles by 7.
Cleveland @ Arizona
DVOA –>CLE by 13.6%
Monkey–>Please God, let me be right…..ARI by 3.
Denver @ Oakland
DVOA –>DEN by 25%
Monkey–>Oakland is sooo bad. My god. The worst rushing defense in the league meet Mike Shanahan. Denver by 14.
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans
DVOA –>TB by 30.8%
Monkey–>No Jeff Garcia? I think New Orleans can get a good win at home in this one and get back to .500. NO by 9.
New York Giants @ Chicago
DVOA –>NYG by 20.8%
Monkey–>F@$# you Eli Manning. You better not F#@$ me again you turd-burglar. NYG by 10.
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh
DVOA –>PIT by 21%
Monkey–>I wonder if the field has been re sodded? Doesn’t matter. PIT by 5.
Monday, Monday, Mon…I can’t maintain this facade of enthusiasm…
New England @ Baltimore
DVOA –>NE by 84.3%
Monkey–>Rule # 1 of the 2007 NFL Season: Always Pick the New England Patriots. NE by 24.