F@#$ Michigan OR Hubbard’s Cupboard

9:58 – Some guy picks the Wolverines over the Badgers. Nice frosted hair, asshat.

10:02 – Bucks Rockets highlights. Never thought I’d see ESPN creaming over the Bucks. Too bad they lost though.

10:03 – Was that Charles Barkley on GameDay??

10:04 – They were only teasing me. More bad news, I have Andre Ware calling the game today, which means only one thing: Dave Pasch will be there too. Gameday now has two seperate inset boxes on the screen for Corso and Herbstreit, which is dumb, because they are 2 feet away from each other at the desk.

10:06 – It took me a while to figure this out, but Gameday is at Amherst. You’ve got to be kidding me….

10:08 – ESPN introduces the “Spirit-meter” How fruity is that?

10:13 – I just saw the funniest sign ever on Gameday ever. “THE AMHERST QB IS A VIRGIN” HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

10:18 – Thanks for the McFadden highlights. He looks phenomenal, but sounds quite dumb.

10:25 – Please tell me ESPN is not going to nationally televise the Amherst v Williams game.

10:45 – 17 minutes to kickoff. The important thing is to keep my expectations low. Lloyd Carr has gone Belichek on us. Nice hoodie coach.

11:02 – F@#$ you Dave Pasch. There has been no snow for any Badger game this year. Proof of global warming?

11:03 -Kickoff, Gilreath to the 35.

11:06 – Paul Hubbard has 20 yards in his cupboard. Some douchey Michigan fans introduce the Michigan D.

11:09 – Badgers punt from the MI 37. I say its a pussy call.

11:10 – Michigan gets a 1st and more on a Carlos Brown run. Then they get 9 on a WR flare. Brown then runs it across midfield, and so it begins. More douchey Michigan fans introduce the Michigan offense. I’m offended.

11:13 – Michigan punts on a 4th and 5, WI takes over on the 17.

11:16 – Wisconsin gets hit with a Block in the Back penalty or some such nonsense. Next play goes big to Hubbard, who now has 45 or so in his cupboard.

11:20 – 8:03 left in the quarter and AW and DP have yet to stop talking about Henne’s shoulder. Meanwhile, Donovan almost throws a pick. Then he almost throws another. Jesis. Wisconsin punts, and Michigan takes over at the 28. I’m one part excited, one part nervous, and one partdomm and gloom.

11:25 – Kirk DeCremer gets lost on this one, MI completes a short pass that goes for a good gain. DP calls Henne “simply marvelous” and then Henne immediately throws a pick!! Shane Carter came down with it. A.W. blames it on Henne’s shoulder. Simply marvelous, if you ask me.

11:27 – Donovan just returned the favor. But there’s a roughing the Passer call, so WI gets a free fifteen, BUT on the return, WI committed a personal foul, so ummm…..This is confusing to the ref who sounds like an unprepared 10th grader in speech class. He just said “administered” instead of assesed not oncce but twice. Annnnnyway, 1st and 10 WI.

11:29 – add another 15 yds to Hubbard’s Cupboard, 1st down WI.

1:30 – Another Personal Foul on Michigan. Lloyd Carr is PISSED! I’m giddy because that keeps the drive alive, WI is at the 20. Lance Smith gets em to the 10. TD BECKUM!!! Donovan threw it off his back foot just to make sure I would worry, but it ends well, WI 7 — MI 0

11:36 – ESPN cuts to a shot of Lloyd Carr being restrained physically by his assistants. It looks like he wanted to punch the ref.…HAAAAHAAA ……Henne’s out? When did that happen? don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining or anything….

11:39 – Michigan converts on a 3rd and inches.

11:40 – 3rd and long this time, and someone calls timeout. In related TV news, “Flight of the Navigator” is on Hallmark. For those of you playing six degrees, this movie features both Sarah Jessica Parker and Paul Reubens. But back to the game…WI sacks Mallett to force a punt with 1:37 left in the first quarter. Wisconsin takes over shy of their 30.

11:48 – Couple of runs get Wisconsin a 1st down.

11:49 – Huge pass to Beckum! almost 40 yards. I could just be a homer, but Travis could be the first or second TE taken when he goes pro.

11:53 – The worlds longest commercial break finally ends, Tyler Donovan gets 9 or 10 on a bootleg turned scramble.

11:55 – Oh yeah, it’s now the second quarter, Wisconsin ends up with a 4th down on the Michigan 10. Send on Melhaff… WI 10 — MI 0

11:58 – Wisconsin kicks off, goes out of the endzone. 1st Michigan play is a pass that gets 17.

12:00 – Wham bam what the F!@# just happened? Mallett way overthrows his reciever. Could’ve wound up a TD. Then he gets sacked back to the 25. God Bless Nick Hayden. Wisconsin takes over at their own 40.

12:04 – Kyokushin Karate is on Human Weapon.

12:06 – Donovan gets 20 or so on a scramble, 1st down Wisconsin on Michigans 38. Now give Lance Smith 8 or 9 yards.

12:08 – Tyler Donovan threads the needle and hits Beckum (who makes a great catch) at the Michigan 5!!

12:09 – Donovan just scrambled for a touchdown!! So, uh, when is the #12 team in the country showing up?

12:10 – WI 17 — MI 0

12:13 – The Wisconsin kickoff goes out of the end zone. again. I just hope the students have enough sense to wait a while before starting the inevitable “Appalachian State” chant. Ikegwuonu almost picks one.

12:15 – Michigan gets to their own 35. 6:30 left in the half. Across midfield on some poor coverage.

12:17 – Where has this Wisconsin Run D been?? Oh, I mean where is Mike Hart??

12:18 – Catch or Pick?? GAWD, they gave it to Michigan. Next play = Michigan Touchdown. WI 17 — MI 7. Bastards.

12:20 – The Michigan kickoff gets returned to the 35.

12:23 – on 3rd and 10, Donovan avoids like 5 sacks, then scrambles, stays behind the Line of Scrimmage, and guns it to Beckum for a 1st down. Good God, that went from nerve-racking to exciting, then back to nerve-racking and finally to fantastic in the span of about 6 seconds.

12:26 – Time-out Wisconsin with 2:02 left in the half. Wisconsin is at the Michigan 25. Lance Smith gets a 1st down to the 12. I say, give it to Pressley.

12:27 – Zach Brown to the 2, but it’ll come back on a hold.

12:28 – Wisconsin calls its last timeout. Lance Smith is hurtin’.

12:31 – 3rd and Forever with 30 seconds left in the half. Donovan throws incomplete in the endzone, bring out Melhaff. They do, and Michigan calls a timeout. Melhaff is good from 40 yards anyway, WI 20 — MI 7.

12:32 – Halftime, and Ron Dayne is on the field. What a beard. This picture doesn’t do it justice.

1:02 – I forget to mention that the 3rd Quarter started. Wisconsin forced a punt, but it glances off a Wisconsin player and Michigan recovers at the WI 38 yard line. Bummer, man.

1:04 – Ikegwuono almost gets a pick.  Almost.

1:05 – A Delay of Game penalty on Michigan makes it 3rd and 12 at the Wisconsin 40.  The next pass is batted at the line.  Well, Wisconsin keeps Michigan from scoring, unless Carr does the smart thing and goes for it.  He doesn’t, it’s a punt for a touchback.  Well, Lloyd, thank you for the 20- net-yard punt.  Lloyd is a dollar millionaire.

1:08 – I’m partially alarmed and partially glad that PJ Hill is now on the field.  And gaining yards 8 at a time.  Donovan now scrambles to make it 3rd and 1.  Wisconsin converts.

1:09 – Who called the end around?  Do I have to ask this every week?

1:10 – Put another 20 yards in Hubbards Cupboard.  Dude is money today.  Another Donovan scramble for about 8.

1:12 – I’ll ask this one more time:  Who keeps calling the end around??  Seriously guys, it hasn’t worked but once this season.  Just throw the ball to Tall Paul Hubbard.  They get my psychic message and Hubbards got 20 more yards.  Now Beckum has a 1st down grab.  Now Donovan gets to the 2 to make 2nd and goal.  PJ HILL TOU…oh.  it’s at the 1 inch line.  PJ HILL TOU…oh.  Badgers get stuffed, bring on Melhaff.     WI  23 —  MI  7.

1:23 – Melhaff puts another kickoff deep in the end zone.  Touchback.

1:29 – 3rd and 10 for Michigan with 3:30 left in the 3rd.  A Mallett throw goes way way out of bounds, Michigan punts, Wisconsin ball at the 22.  I feel very positive about this situation, even though UW should have 27 points.

1:32 – another 1st down catch for Paul Hubbard.

1:33 – Wisconsin gets a 1st on some power running.

1:35 – End of the 3rd Quarter.

1:38 – Michigan finally mans up and stuffs the 3rd down play.  Wisconsin punts and Jaaaaack Ikegwuono downs it at the Michigan 2.  Sweet Delia!! 

1:41 – Oh my F@#$@#$ God, that did not just happen.  It did just happen, 97 yard Touchdown pass that Manningham broke.  I feel like I just got kicked in the nuts by my television.   WI  23  —  MI 14.  there’s 13 minutes left in the game.

1:45 – Wisconsin returns the kick to the 30, and then go 3 and out.  Not good.

1:48 – Michigan takes over at their 37.  I’m getting nervous.  Dave Pasch keeps saying that Michigan has come back in their last whatever games.  You’re a dick Dave.

1:51 – Michigan goes deep and……PICKED!!!!  I’ve gone from nervous to Laughing loudly in about 3 seconds.  Oh, yeah, there was just the shortest official review ever.  I think the dude in the replay booth just wanted to see that again.  and again.  I know I did.

1:53 – I wonder how the Michigan fans who introduced the starting lineup are feeling now.

1:54 – Zach Brown gets a 1st down to the WI 40.  There’s still 11 minutes left.

1:55 – A 3rd and 7 for Wisconsin.  C’mon, just close em out guys.  What?  You don’t want to?  You want to punt instead?  Well, who am I to stop you from doing whatever you feel like?  Wisconsin punts with about 9:30 left in the game, and Michigan takes over with 9 minutes or so left on the clock.

2:02 – My heart skipped a beat when I thought the Michigan guy was gone.  He got the 50 yard line.  Should’ve been a sack.

2:04 – Defensive Holding, automatic first for Michigan, 8 minutes left.

2:05 – Michigan to the 30.  They just won’t go away.

2:07 – Michigan Touchdown.  Godammit.  WI  23  —  MI  21  7:31 left in the game.

2:12 – Tyler Donovan hits a big pass, and then gets smacked in the head.  Again.  7:00 left.

2:14 – False Start.  Evridge is now in at QB.

2:15 – 4th down Wisconsin, 5:52 left.  I feel incredibly edgy right now. The punt gets downed at Michigan’s 11.

2:16 – Michigan to the 30.  Oh My God.

2:17 – HUGE SACK!!!  that’s good!

BUT THERE”S A FLAG!!  that’s bad…

BUT IT’S HOLDING!!!  that’s good!    Ball’s at the Michigan 11 again.

2:19 – PICK BY IKEGWUONO!!!  Wisconsin ball just outside the Michigan 30, 4:30 left in the game.

2:21 – Zach Brown to the 13! nice, a first down about seals it.  Brown to the 6….

2:22 – Touchdown, Zach Brown!!  WI  30  —  MI  21  3:11 left…..

2:24 – Wisconsin kicks off, penalty on the Michigan return, ball’s spotted at the 10.  I can almost taste it.

2:25 – An “in-the-grasp-sack”  Ball’s at the 2.  That one was questionable, but I’ll take every time.

2:26 – 2nd and 20, 2:30 left.  Incompletion brings up 3rd and 20.  Incomplete again….I issue a sigh of relief as the pass on 4th and 20 goes incomplete again.  Wisconsin ball at the 2 with 2:19 left.

2:28 – Wisconsin runs up the middle, Touchdown.  WI  37  —  MI 21.  That one’s the icing on the cake.  The chocolate icing on the cake.

2:32 – 3rd and 10 for Michigan, and the pass is broken up.  4th and 10 with 1:49 remaining.

2:35 – Wisconsin takes over on downs, and kneels to run out the clock.  Sweet.  Gameballs go to Michigan’s Crable, without his 2 15 yard penalties Wisconsin may not have won.  To Paul Hubbard and Travis Beckum for finishing with 134 and 106 yards respectively.  To Ikegwuono and Shane Carter for getting 1 and 2 picks respectively, to the Wisconsin Run D and Tyler Donovan for helping control that clock.  Well, Hell, we got room in the athletic budget for 104, 105 game balls, right?

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