Monkey’s Week 10 Picks OR the Worst Intervention Ever.

Before I start, I want to say something. Larry Johnson and Roger Godell can both go to hell. Larry for planting that flag in the end zone in the Packer game. and Godell for only hitting him with a $7500 fine while he fined TO $10,00 for having a towel on the bench. Jesus, you’re a douche Roger. TO’s towel really merited the same penalty as a dirty hit that could’ve ended a career?? Roger, pull your head out of whoever’s ass its up. But without further ado, the Monkey’s week 10 picks….

Atlanta @ Carolina
DVOA ->CAR by 4.9% (both -)
Monkey ->Which is a better news story? This one, or this one? Believe it or not, It’s an easier pick than this game. Is week 10 the week that Vinny breaks his hip live on television? Is it the week Joey Harrington breaks HIS hip and this guy gets to start at QB? Someone needs to tell Rich McKay that all his QB signings suck. I’m taking the Panther’s by 10.

Minnesota @ Green Bay
DVOA ->GB by 2.4% (both +)
Monkey ->Total Packer Homer over here, remember? Green Bay by 14.

Denver @ Kansas City
DVOA ->KC by 1.1% (both -)
Monkey -> Which team is in worse shape coming into this game? The Chiefs or the Broncos? Personally, I’d have to say Denver, who’s out a #1 reciever, a #2 reciever, has a mediorce QB who’s hobbled, and 1/2 of their starting secondary is injured. Larry Johnson may have a bad foot, but something tells me Priest Holmes will still have a good as his replacement. Who has Denver stopped on the ground anyway? Factor in Tony Gonzalez and I like KC by 7.

Buffalo @ Miami
DVOA ->BUF by 21.1% (both -)
Monkey -> The Good news for Miami? They didn’t lose last week. The bad News for Miami? They didn’t win either, and they won’t get one this week either. Want to learn more about why the Dolphins wil go 0-9? Also, Marshawn Lynch is pretty good. They won both of last years games by double digits, and the Dolphins got worse between then and now, Bills by 10.

St. Louis @ New Orleans
DVOA ->NO by 33.3% (both -)
Monkey -> Reggie Bush is coming into his own, Drew Brees is no longer playing like Aaron Brooks, and I really think that we can put the S back in front of the aints. I don’t expect Steven Jackson to make a real impact in this one, mostly because of Linehan’s playcalling. For more on that, let’s ask a Ram’s fan. I’m picking New Orleans by 7.

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh
DVOA ->PIT by 37% (CLE is -)
Monkey -> So Romeo Crennel and Company are more confident about this time around with the Steelers. Romeo was more confident about the South Beach Diet than he was about Atkins, but it still didn’t do him any good. The Steelers defense is too good, Jamal Lewis may have scored 4 TDs, but only had yards to go with them. Factor in an inexperienced QB and a hostile environment you’ll get the Steelers by 9.

Jacksonville @ Tennessee
DVOA ->TEN by 10.% (both +)
Monkey ->Both of these teams are above .500 and both are positive in DVOA rankings. So why am I so un-enthused by this game? Is it because both teams like to run the ball to excess? Is it that Vince Young has the same number of passing TDs as Quinn Gray? I think it all comes down to Tennessee’s defense being slightly better than Jacksonville’s. Since I have to pick, I’ll take Tennessee by 6.

Philadelphia @ Washington
DVOA ->PHI by 4.4% (both +)
Monkey -> Good news for McNabb; This game is not in front of nutbar Philly fans. Bad news for Philadelphia though, as Clinton Portis may have finally hit his stride last week against the Jets. Interesting tidbit of information: Philadelphia has scored more points and allowed fewer points than the Redskins. The flipside of that stat? About 1/3 of Philly’s points on the season came in their September 23rd game when they hung a 56 spot on the Lions. If you throw out that game the Eagles are averaging just over 14 points a game, which just won’t be enough. ‘Skins by 12.

Cincinnati @ Baltimore
DVOA ->CIN by 4.5% (both -)
Monkey ->Can Carson Palmer take advantage of an injury depleted secondary that gave up 5 passing TD’s to Pittsburgh, or will Carson Palmer make this face? I’m of the opinion that Steve McNair will be able to put up more that 60-odd passing yards against a Cincy D that’s allowing 250+ yards a game through the air. Baltimore lost in the opener by 7 at Paul Brown Stadium, but I expect the Ravens to split the series with a home win this week. Baltimore by 7.

Detroit @ Arizona
DVOA ->DET by 2.5% (both -)
Monkey ->What’s worse? The hometown media writing this, or the hometown media writing this? I feel uncomfortable ever picking Detroit to win. I also feel uncomfortable picking Arizona to win. I feel even less comfortable picking this game to end in a tie. If it was the 1st month of the season and 90+ in Zona, I’d take the Cardinals for sure. Even though its November, I still like the Cards. Edge could run wild, and Larry Fitzgerald has 700+ recieving yards already, so I’ll take the Cardinals by 7.

Dallas @ NY Giants
DVOA ->DAL by 37.7% (both +)
Monkey ->My thesis: The Giants are not as good as ESPN wants them to be. They’ve only beaten one team with a winning record, and the average wins for all the teams they’ve beaten is just over two. Add to that the apparent regression against Miami and I can pretty much discount everything positive about the Giants. Example: The Giants have a league leading 30 sacks thus far, but the Cowboys have had good protection, only allowing 11. I’m taking The Cowboys by 8.

Chicago @ Oakland
DVOA ->CHI by 12.8% (both -)
Monkey ->Ladies and Gentlemen, the new QB of the Chicago Bears!!! This pick is based on pure spite. Oakland by 3.

Indianapolis @ San Diego
DVOA ->IND by 49.1% (both +)
Monkey -> Norv Turner should find a way to F%@$ this one up. Look for Joseph Addai to break 100 yds, and Peyton to have 250 and 3 TDs. Also, Dwight Freeney could break one or both of Pip River’s legs. Indy by 13.

San Francisco @ Seattle
DVOA ->SEA by 60.5% (SEA is +)
Monkey -> Seattle’s not much to watch, but when you’re playing San Fran….. Also, Wikipedia seems to already be counting this game as a SanFran loss. Which is what I would do If I had to update hundreds of thousands of entries every week. the Niner’s issue is scoring points and with Frank Gore questionable again this week, I have no choice but to pick Holmgren’s mustache Seatlle 24 – San Francisco 13


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