I’m just Sitting on the 50 yard-line, wastin’ time, wastin’ time……

This week I have tickets for the game again, so the story of my day begins ……

9:05 – Get my ass out of bed.

9:55 – Pick up T, roll to the bank.

9:56 – Badger Radio guys are trying to hock Volleybal tix.

10:30 – Pay $20 to park by the Quakers, get a couple of brats, T-bone gets a blueberry muffin.

10:52 – Get to our seats, Marching band is on the field. The PA guy says the next song is by ‘Sigmund Romberg’ At a football game? Are you serious?

10:53 – The student section is over 2/3 empty.

10:58 T and I observe the Northern Ill. mascot appears to be wearing a home-made costume,

11:01 – Kick-off!!!!

11:09 -There’s only 6 seconds off the clock after the kickoff, and the NIU guy is still down. Why aren’t the students chanting “Shoot Him Like A Horse!”?

11:11 – Bring on the ambulance, I’m an asshole.

11:13 – Dude is sitting up on the stretcher, so its probably not a spinal deal.

11:15 – OK, we’re gonna play some Football!!

11:17 – 3 PJ Hill runs and Wisconsin’s to the 50.

11:19 – Hubard to the 30

11:21 – TOUCHDOWN!! 25 yd pass to Graham!! UW 7 — NIU 0

11:23 – Joe Thomas cameo, thanks to Browns bye week. The crowd makes more noise for him than for the TD. This leads to an interesting conversation with T about whether or not Joe’s number should be retired. Just take a look at his UW achievements.

11:24 – The band doesn’t play that Steve Miller song anymore, but the P.A. guy can play crappy hip-hop. T- “Did we hire the DJ from last nights house party to do the game today?” The students chant for more beer. Ikegwuonu is playing like a stud.

11:27 – NIU punts again. Gilreath runs into his own blocker on a 2nd consecutive return.

11:29 – HE COULD GO ALL THE WAY!!!!! 72 yd TD run for PJ Hill UW 14 — NIU 0 The Jumbotron is playing a Tecomo Super Bowl TD thing. The students again chant for more beer.

11:34 – 4th and short for NIU, they punt. again. A nice return is neutralized by the worlds most obvious block in the back.

1:37 – facing 3rd and short, Wisconsin eff’s it up, bring on DaBouche.

11:39 – F@#$ YOU – EAT S#!% chant #1 of the day.

11:40 – NIU gets a false start and then throws a pass for a 5 yd loss. Their punter and long snapper haven’t stopped practicing together on the sideline yet. Good thing, because they wind up with 4th and 8 . NIU has 17 total yards, and theres only 4 minutes left in the 1st Quarter.

11:42 – despite all the practice, NIU’s long snapper gets called for a snap infraction. Gilreath returns the punt to the 50. Nice.

11:44 – Fullback Handoff. Pressley is a BEAST of a man. He’s bigger than 10 of 11 NIU defensive players.

11:48 – End of 1st Quarter, Wisconsin has outgained NIU 176 to 17.

11:49 – The UW Volleyball team makes a cameo appearance. The student section is almost full now.

11:52 – Start of 2nd Quarter. TOUCHDOWN for Wisconsin’s Pressley. What a stud. It’s his first career TD as a Badger, congrats. UW 21 — NIU 0. T asks if I think that WI’s line has more to do with their success than their skill positions.

11:55 – Bucky does more pushups, students want more beer.

11:56 – Wisconsin forces a 3rd and 20 on a Newkirk sack – I am so much happier than the las two weeks. Now NIU has 4th and 25 on their own 5.

11:58 – The wave starts as Gilreath has a nice return, the second time around they go slo-mo.

12:00 – Now the wave goes fast.

12:01 – Wave gets reversed, comes back to us.

12:02 – Section YZ splits the wave!! Amazing! I’ve never seen anyone but the students engineer that before. I am truly amazed.

12:03 – TD run by Lance Smith, UW 28 – NIU 0 10:30 Q2. Wisconsin has now outgained NIU 226 to 1. Thats right, ONE yard.

12:05 – Men’s track and field cameo. The PA guy lists off their long list of titles. There’s so many I begin to think he’s making them up as he goes.

12:08 – Bucky does pushups, fans want more beer. Ikegwuono has been everywhere today. NIU punter and long snapper haven’t stopped practicing today. T – “maybe they don’t get to practice during the week.” NIU has to punt, they now have 4 total yards on the day.

12:10 – F$%* YOU EAT S#!& chant #2 of the day.

12:13 – section O rows, PJ Hill gets 15 on 2 carries. Pressley keeps bangin’.

12:14 – Who called that end around?? Didn’t we learn from last week? Tyler Donovan with a spin move, jukes left. HIT X, LEFT TRIGGER, A!! Wisconsin 1st down. T – “He looked like Vick there, he beat 3 or 4 Huskies there.”

12:19 – Beckum o the 14, 3rd and 4 for Wisconsin. Jefferson can’t hold on to the next pass, so we’ll kick the FG. It’s good from 32 yds. UW 31 — NIU 0.

12:23 – 4th and 10 for NIU. They are 0/6 on 3rd down. The punter (who hasn’t stopped practicing on the sideline) comes out again.

12:24 – Donovan throws a pick. We Should’ve Been Running.

12:26 – The officials put 1 additional second on the clock, Please reset the game clock to the 4th quarter.

12:28 – Huskies convert their 1st 1st down all game.

12:30 – NIU gets a 2nd 1st down. They throw a pick on the next play. NIU’s #88 pulls a boner and gets a Personal Foul.

12:35 – Finally Half-time. UW 31 — NIU 0. Awesome, its the Punt Pass and Kick contest!! GO GARY!! he attempts the 27 yd FG…….No Good…..Sorry Gary. Stadium PA, “Gang Violence and Tender Love scenes.” What?!? Nothing more manly than a Marching Band playing songs from West Side Story. And to top it off, there’s no dance fighting. NIU’spunter comes out early from the locker room to practice more.

12:56 – Kickoff the second half

T- “would you rather watch dance fighting or the second half?”

Me – “Is it break dance fighting?”
We decide to leave at the end of the quarter, or when the score hits 40.

12:58 – Pass Interference on WI, 1st down NIU. T – “NIU makes Citadel look like Auburn.”

1:01 – NIU throws a pick six!!! wait a minute, he’s called out at the 4. WI has 1st and goal. T- “We have to wait one more play to celebrate.”

1:04 – 3rd and goal at the one. Is it a PJ Hill run? You bet, count it a TD. UW 38 — NIU 0 9:56 3Q.

1:05 – Loving the Tecmo Super Bowl Jumbotron animation. There’s a second appearence of the Volleyball team (this time its alumni)

1:06 – As Wisconsin kicks off, the NIU punter and LS are STILL practicing their technique. Its like they have some sort of 6th sense that they are going out on the field 4 plays from now. The students want more beer.

1:11 – 3rd and 12 for NIU, at least the punters ready. Wisconsin offensive lineman Kenny Jones (#69) sings ‘Afternoon Delight” on the Jumbotron. The crowd goes ape.

1:14 – Playing Neil Diamond on the P.A. T – “I’m a huge Neil fan. He’s working on a new album with Rick Rubin.”

1:16 – F%@# YOU EAT S#%$ chant # 3 on the day. This one is LOUD. Stay classy Madison.

1:19 – 40+ yd run for PJ Hill. Balls on the 10. What’s that PJ? You ate the whole wheel of cheese AND pooped in the fridge? I’m not even upset, I’m actually impressed.

1:23 – 4:30 left in the 3rd Quarter.

1:24 – Donovan throw one through the endzone to the spirit squad. T- “Tyler said he wanted to nail a cheerleader, but I thought he meant something else…” Melhoff kicks a FG, UW 41 — NIU 0. 2:59 3Q.

1:25 – Do you think the cheerleaders respect the spirit squad? What does the spirit squad think of the cheerleaders? Spirit Squad VS Cheerleaders, I report, you decide.

1:29 – NIU throws a 40 yard pass. They now have 80 or so total yards. NIU’s cheerleaders are dressed in black, got kind of a ‘bad-girl’ thing going.

1:31 – NIU finally gets on the board by settling for a FG UW 41 – – NIU 3 0:51 Q3. The lady behind me just asked her man, “Doesn’t it have to go through the things ta count?” I am trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

1:34 – Why are UW’s starters in witha 38 point lead and :20 sec left in the third???

1:35 – End of the 3rd quarter, We’re hitting the bricks. My game balls go to Chris Pressley, the WI FB, and to Andy Dittbenner, the NIU punter.

1:45 – WI kicks a FG, final score 44-3

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