Getting It Out In the Open

An Open Letter to Douglas Melvin, Esq.

Dear Mr. Melvin,

I really want to trust you Douglas. Sincerely, nay, Earnestly trust you. I WANT to think highly of you but you aren’t making it too easy on me. First this happens, and then this happens, so you do this? For those of you too lazy to click the links, First Gallardo gets his knee scoped (Not too serious, but he’ll miss the start of the season), then Capuano may have to get his second Tommy John surgery (and is likely gone for the season), so you release Claudio Vargas.

Don’t get me wrong, Claudio has many faults, including a career 1.46 WHIP and a career 4.54 ERA, but this spring training his ERA was 3.86, with a WHIP of 1.23, which may be a statistical fluke, but consider the spring performances of Manny Parra (6.10 ERA, 1.55 WHIP ), Dave Bush (6.43 ERA, 1.57 WHIP), Ben Sheets (6.55 ERA, 1.82 WHIP) and Jeff Suppan (9.17 ERA, 1.98 WHIP).

(all Spring Training stats available here.)

What all that tells me is that Claudio Vargas showed up at Spring Training ready to go. He showed in shape, and had shown improvement. So why, after you find out that one starter will miss about the first two weeks of the season and another would miss the whole season, would you release a possible starting pitcher this close to the start of the season? (Especially with assuming that Ben Sheets, who has spent 215 days on the DL since ‘05, will spend 71.5 days on the shelf if the average holds.)

Also, I submit to you that since the Mike Cameron will be on the roster after serving a 25 game suspension, it would be prudent to fill his void with a pitcher, so that when Gallardo returns from that knee injury you have a larger sample size to judge your pitching by. You do want the best arms in your system on the Big League team, right? So take the first few weeks of the season to extend the auditions for mop up work, because after all, you don’t need to platoon anywhere on the diamond this year, so go a position player short until Cameron gets back.

Last year a big problem was eating up those middle innings. Mota is 35 and Torres is 36. The bullpen might not have gotten a lot worse, but it got older. It seems to me that the Crew could be looking at multiple pitchers that make the 25-man on the DL for extensive periods of time. I know that there’s a few guys in the minors who could step up and take those places(Stetter, Bray and Narveson), and that there’s a few guys (Parra and Villanueva) who could be optioned down to AAA, but still, talk about a cold maneuver.

So where does that put us on the trust ladder, Douglas? I know that I can’t make you read this, and that you won’t accept my phone calls. I know I don’t draw any water with the organization, but 6 weeks from now, if Ben Sheets sprains his finger again, Mota looks exhausted after jogging to the mound and Torres blows his rotator cuff, who’s the one guy you’ll wish you hadn’t cut? I’d bet he’s Claudio Vargas. Don’t misunderstand, I hope it won’t be like that. I’m just a realist.

Ever at Your Service,

The Hon.  Even Chunkier Monkey

(Click here for more on courtesy titles)

Sinbad is Scandalous

 

Srsly?  Sinbad?  (thanks to T for the head’s up on this deal.  Currently looking for Larry King interviewing Sinbad over the phone.)

Opening Day (but not really)

Congratulations to the Red Sox for winning the first game of the 08 season.  Now go play some more exhibition games.  Call me crazy for not understanding why (except to make an extra 5 or 10 mil) MLB would even schedule this game.  No one else plays a game for 5 days, and everybody still has warm up games to play.  It aired at 6 am EST.  Who the hell besides the Japanese got to watch it, and was this a stipulation in the Japanese leagues letting Dice-K go to the BoSox?  I only want the truth.

 And Now, Gemma Atkinson…

click here for biographical information. 

Sobering Up: A Two Week Bender

Jesus, I almost forgot that I used to do this every day. I guess getting into peak shape for St. Patrick’s day took it’s toll. But I really can’t blame the layoff on alcohol alone. Booze isn’t the only thing I’ve been binging on these past two weeks. I have viewed over 65 hours of TV as well. I burned through seasons 3 through 5 of the Wire, seasons 5 and 6 of the Shield, kept up with all the current television shows I’m watching, and still managed to work full time. Poor clock management you say? Just call me Joe Gibbs.

So whats to talk about? The Badgers having the easiest road to the Elite 8 of any team still alive? Half my predictions about the Brewer’s opening day roster going south? My complete lack of interest in the NBA playoffs? My bracket being in tatters after Georgetown and Duke and Marquette and Georgia depart the Tourney early? Seems like a good start…

Wisconsin and the (not so) Stacked Bracket

*following paragraph will contain blatant homerism* Tell me honestly that the Midwest bracket didn’t seem a little strange to you too. First I was upset at the Badgers 3 seed. Ranked in the top 6 in both polls and they get a three? RPI??!? What the fuck is that?? So I got over the fact that UW had played against a weak Big Ten, and that maybe a three seed was justified. However as soon as I saw a potential 2nd round matchup against USC I had to check which region the Badgers were seeded in. Until Sunday I had no idea that California had been annexed by the Midwest. It made less sense than UConn being seeded in the West. I had a sleepless night worrying about OJ Mayo and other what if scenarios. But then USC lost. So everything is good right? Except now Georgetown is a possible matchup in the Sweet Sixteen. Isn’t Georgetown on the….never mind. I had even more tossing and turning in front of my TV before Georgetown lost to Davidson. And now? I’m worried about Kansas. *end of blatant homerism*

So here I am, tickled pink at the prospects of an Elite 8 appearence by my alma mater, not even caring that I only picked 9 of 16 teams still left. My bracket may be shredded by any account, but my hopes are still high. I may not win the pool, but….Shit, I’m not going to win the pool. So what’s left to write about if the blatant homerism was supposed to end with my previous paragraph? Fake awards? I suppose I could do that.

Most Likely to Succeed: North Carolina. Top seed in the tournament gets to play a team from the opposite coast for a chance to advance? Are you kidding me? I won’t punch a ticket to the Final Four for them yet, but

Most Likely to Disappoint: Xavier. How these guys snagged a three seed is beyond me. They play in a conference with Rhode Island for Christ’s sake. Bad news for the Musketeers as West Virginia rolls in after upsetting 2 seed Duke.

Least Likely to Cover: UCLA. 51 points? That’s it? Well, see you next year….You Won? You only scored 51 points and you won? How did that happen? And you call yourselves a 1 seed. The only way the Bruins cover is a ridiculously low spread and maybe not even then.

Most Likely Cinderella:(tied) Western Kentucky and West Virginia. My honest assessment at this stage is that a Cinderella Final Four appearence is most likely to happen in the West. The number 2 seed gets bounced early by West Virginia and the number 4 and 5 seeds are out after the first round and the number 1 put up only 51 points against the 9 seed. Maybe I’m wrong to have no faith in either UCLA or Xavier, but my bet is on a low seeded Final Four berth coming out of the West.

Class Clown: Villanova. No seniors on the roster and your next opponent is Kansas? Yes, Villanova, you are officially the most likely to look silly.

 

I wish it were Spring in the world.

So completely wrong was I, about Vinny Rottino. I had hopes so high for an 8 man bullpen, but it was not to be. The Brewers designated Rottino for assignment a few days ago, meaning that Eric Munson should be the frontrunner to back up Jason Kendall. Also I spoke ill of Tony Gwynn Jr, only to see him hit .405 thus far. I believe that I wanted Gabe Gross to start in right and see Corey Hart in center. I don’t feel all that badly about it as Gross has 4 HRs in Spring Training (and more total bases than Jr.) and Gwynns been caught stealin 3/7 attempts. But I’m just looking for anything that would vindicate me at this point.

As for the Brewers pitching, it hasn’t been particularly pretty, as Gagne and Turnbow have earned matching his and hers 7.50 ERA’s. Also Suppan, Sheets and Capuano have miserable statistics as well. I just hope they all get their shit together because it could be a long fucking April otherwise.

I leave you with these…

But I thought it was only an 8 second sermon?!?!

Nothin’ Doin’

If there’s nothing going on should I still write? If I subscribed to the ESPN school of thought, then yes. Doing what I do for a living there’s ample time to listen to the radio and usually I get a few hours of sports in my ears each day. I enjoy it, usually. There’s basketball, hockey, and offseason news and rumors in baseball and football. It passes the time. But for the last three days I’ve been listening less and less. I think a lot of people have been. Here’s how a lot of people put it “I’m so sick of Brett Favre this and Brett Favre that.” I understand the sentiment, but it’s not really Brett Favre they’re sick of. It’s ESPN that they’re sick of.

Yeah, Favre is a legend in Wisconsin and beyond. Yeah, Favre is a lock for the Hall of Fame. Yeah Favre looks better than you in a pair of Wranglers, but its not his fault ESPN covered nothing but him for the past few days. It’s ESPN’s fault. It’s lazy journalism. Instead of making the Favre story a two minute segment every half hour or hour they turned it into a 72 hour event. It’s not Favre you should be upset at, it’s ESPN.

I know (and so do the guys at the GNC) that the NCAA regular season is almost over, and that conference tournaments are around the corner. In my mind that’s the biggest story. Who’s in, who’s out, who’s on the bubble. That’s interesting. That’s worthy of a 20+ minutes an hour. Who’s locked up a one seed, who could get boned out of a 2 or 3 seed, these are topics of interest. Not to mention good promotion for upcoming network content.

Oh, and I almost forgot that people still play hockey professionally. HeavESPN forbid that I should get to watch highlights of my favorite sport-no-one-else-cares-about. We don’t have a pro team in WI, and since Vs. is the only channel to regularly carry games, and most of those take place when I work, and Sirius is no longer the NHL’s broadcast partner, I get dick in the way of puck. All because it would be more difficult to package some fresh highlights than it is to run an hour long Favre retrospective, followed by a half hour of punditry on the Favre highlights, followed by two hours of sports (and half of that is steriods/spygate non-news) crammed into half an hour. Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

In case you were wondering, yes, there are guys playing baseball south of the Mason-Dixon line in a little thing called “Spring Training”. But who really wants to do any work and talk about lineup controversies, who’s poised to breakout, and which teams are poised to trade? We got it made this week, Favre retired, queue the tape we made three years ago in case of Favre retirement. It made me think of this…

So what the Fuck, ESPN, are you going to cover the Favre story, or the rest of the wide world of sports?  Let me know when you learn how to multitask, I’ll be watching The Wire.

Circle of Life, Doing the Bull Dance, or, uh, not doing the bull dance…

You ever wake up to a phone call that feels like its part of your dream? I only ask because this morning I got a call from the twins, it went like this:

Me – “Hello?”

Them – “Hey, what’s up M?”

Me – “This is highly inappropriate.”

Them – “Didn’t mean to wake you up dude, just thought you should know, Favre Retired.”

*long pause*

Me – “Call you back.”

Needless to say I have not yet called them back. In fact if they had delivered a message like this a thousand years ago, they likely would have been hung. So I lay there in bed, drifting in and out of increasingly worse dreams until – BOOM – I’m awake. Staring up at the ceiling it occurred to me – It’s not the end of the world. Then I looked at my phone. I had a few new messages. They were all one word texts, and I would have been very confused if my Brothers hadn’t told me about Favre. They read simply, “NO”, “fuck”, and “shit”. They were all from different people.

But now, at the end of the (sporting-news) day (because what else are you going to cover today?) I tell you its not so bad. Watch the tube…

If you’re wondering why I have a Cal vs USC clip embeded, Aaron Rodgers is the Cal starting QB, that’s why. It’s not like we’re the Atlanta Falcons right now. So Goodbye Brett, we’ll miss you greatly. And Welcome Aaron, you’d better not Fuck This Up.

“Thanks for finally letting me play Brett!”

Discuss

???

I’m In Your Bush, Killing Your Birds…

So I know you’re asking yourself, How does this MLB roster thing work? Well the answer is reasonably simple. Here is a link to explain. I’ll wait if you want, I have all day to type very fast when you scroll down. Now that you’re back…

The Monkey’s Brewers Preview

I know that you haven’t really been waiting for it, but I wrote it all the same. I had planned to write it sooner, but instead stopped after this: Monkey Predicts the Brewers Starting 5. So without further ado (there’ll be time for ado later) Here’s how I see the 25 man roster after Spring Training…

Position Players

The Starting 8 Position Players on opening day are simple enough.

C – Kendall

1B – Fielder

2B – Weeks

SS – Hardy

3B – Hall

LF – Braun

RF – Gross

CF – Hart

So there’s 8 out of 25, plus the five starters, so 13 roster spots accounted for, and there’s 12 to go….

Relievers Sure to Make the Team…

Closer – Eric Gagne. (I know, I know, but hes on the 25 man roster. He’s gettin paid 10 mil, so he’s on the team whether I don’t like, or hate it.)

Setup – Derrick Turnbow.

Sit Lefty – Brian Shouse

Sit. Righty – Salomon Torres

Middle Relief – David Riske

Long Relief – Chris Capuano

Long Relief – Claudio Vargas

So there’s another 7 roster spots gone, add the 8 positional starters and the 5 starting pitchers and there’s 20 spots accounted for, and I still need me some positional backups. probably 3 or 4.

Infield Utilityman – Counsell

Backup Catcher/1B/3B – Vinny Rottino

Backup IF/OF – Joe Dillon

Backup OF – Tony Gwynn Jr.

So there’s four backups that cover just about everywhere on the depth chart, which leaves one remaining spot for my completely fiction 08 Brewers 25 man roster. Who will have a spot for 25 whole days before Mike Cameron’s suspension is over?

There are several canidates, but I think it’ll be a non-roster invitee, more specifically Steve Bray, who dominated AAA last year. Given that the Brewers have little to no controversy about the starters in the infield, and only a 25 game stretch of uncertainty in the outfield I could see Melvin keeping a DEEP bullpen, perhaps with the intention of shopping Vargas or Capuano during spring training or in the first month or so of the season.

No, You’re Wrong.

So you think I’m wrong? Oh, I’ve been wrong before, but that was fifty posts ago. I’m sure that some of these predictions will not come to pass, but here’s some pre-emptive rebuttals…

Vinny Rottino isn’t going to be the back up catcher, (insert name here) is.

The way the forty man roster is the Brewers have 4 potential backups at catcher, Eric Munson, Mike Rivera, Lou Palmisano and Vinny Rottino. Munson and Rivera are both older (early thirties) Munson’s career BA is .214 and his OBP is nothing to write home about either. Rivera’s is .239 (Rivera’s 07 BA in AAA? .215 Nuff said.) As for Palmisano, it looks like he’s got some skill, and his OPS is alright, but he hasn’t played any ball over the AA level.

Which leaves me at Rottino. So why Vinny? He can catch, as well as play 1B and 3B. With as many pitchers as the Crew is likely to carry, this versatility is valuable. He’s played 3 solid seasons at AAA (OPS over .800) and he’s had a cup of coffee or two already. He’s a Wisconsin native, and if he can hit a bit he’ll be a crowd favorite.

Soloman Torres isn’t going to make the cut (insert name here) is.

Maybe. Perhaps it’ll be Seth McClung, or Randy Choate, or Mitch Stetter, or Guillermo Mota. Hmm. Randy Choate? Dominant at the AAA level, yet stunningly disappointing at the major league level. Mota? Hasn’t been better than below-average since he got off the clear, and one juicer in the bullpen’s enough, don’t you think? Seth McClung? The guy can throw heat, and since joining the Milwaukee organization has drastically improved his control. He’s got a shot at the bigs, sure. I just don’t think it’s at Torres’ expense. Same thing with Stetter. The Brewers just have a ton of arms, and both McClung and Stetter (and probably Choate too) will be on the 40 man roster come September. I just can’t see them beating out Torres. Until Melvin clears out a spot or two, these guys will be pitching in Nashville this season.

Tony Gwynn Jr’s going to start in Center, Corey Hart is a RFer, Dumbass.

Jesus Christ, I’ll explain. Because I see 3 players competing for two spots and since Mike Cameron loves to pop Stim-U-Tacs the Crew needs a CF for 25 games. Corey Hart and Tony Gwynn Jr are the candidates. Gwynn’s a speedy guy, but he can’t hit. Then there’s Corey Hart. Hart will definitely be a starting outfielder, but will he start in right or center?

Now why did I say 2 spots for three players? Because the Brewers could go with Hart in center and Gross in right, or Gwynn in center and Hart in right. I just see it as a matter of production. Corey Hart and Gabe Gross produce, which means that if Hart CAN play CF, then he should, because Gwynn hits for no power and an inferior average. Ultimately its not a choice between Hart and Gwynn, but between Gwynn and Gross. I pick Gross, and I’ll take my chances with Corey in CF for 25 games.

 

Craig Counsell isn’t going to make the team, (insert name here) is.

Ya sure bout that? The other players in camp that can play SS are Abraham Nunez Ozzie Chavez and Alcides Escobar. Escobar hasn’t been above AA, Chavez boots a ton of balls. Which means that the only guy I could see beating out Counsell is Nunez, and I don’t think he’s all that much better. Another factor to consider is that Nunez is a non-roster invitee on a minor league deal and I’m not sure Craig Counsell’s contract allows for designation. Personally I don’t see the downside in having a great defensive backup with post-season experience on the bench.

Matt LaPorta is totally gonna make the team.

Not until September, and maybe not then either. The Crew wanted LaPorta to play in LF because he’s HORRIBLE at 1B. This is the problem. The Brewers outfield is crowded. Not so crowded anymore, but a 23 year old who only played A ball is still going to be in the minors until there’s a spot open or the September call-ups come. There’s just not a spot for him yet and there might not be for a while. They’ll see how he performs in spring training, and then they’ll send him to Huntsville or Nashville to acclimate to better and better pitching and to learn how to field.

Manny Parra is gonna be on the squad.

Maybe. Maybe after some of the players who are getting paid this year play badly. He’s a good pitcher, but he has had some injury history and with as many arms as are in the bullpen right the only spot he could take would be Claudio Vargas’s. Claudio is getting 2.5 million this year, so in my humble opinion, Vargas would have to be traded to make a spot for Parra. Hasn’t happened yet, so hence his omission.

 

So here it is, how I would fill out the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers Depth Chart.

 

Feel free to let me know how wrong I am.

 

Happy Leap Year.

Baseball Prospectus and Ron Shandlers Baseball Forecaster arrived at my door today, I don’t have to work, and there’s a case of cold beer in the fridge. I just wanna play Ice Cube real loud and get drunk while reading tables of numbers…

It’s a good day…

State’s in Town. MSU @ WI **LiVe**

8:25 – picking this up after work, 10:20 left in the 1st half, MSU 16 – WI 14. Izzo just subbed out his entire starting lineup to keep his guys fresh, but after a Badger dunk it’s tied at 16. I understand why he did it, but he was dumb to do it.

8:27 – MSU guy travels when he gets caught in between 3 WI defenders. Butch hits his second three. , Badgers lead with 8:12 left after MSU puts in their starters back in.

8:29 – Spartans get called for traveling again. They were solidly in control, but Izzo subbing 5 guys simultaneously messed up the MSU rhythm. If it ain’t broke….

8:33 – mad scramble for a loose ball sends 4 or 5 players to the floor. Possession to WI with a pt lead and 6 minutes left.

8:34 – Joe Krabbenhoft knocked down a 3? Here is his picture…

8:35 – Now Butch hits a 3, score is MSU 20 WI 24. Marcus Landry gets a two back from MSU. 4 minutes left and MSU calls a timeout. Former Badger Devon Harris drops 21 points and 5 dimes in 18 minutes tonight and it seems like a good omen with UW now leading by 6.

8:40 – Drew Nietzel is 0/5 so far. Badgers still up by 6 with minutes left in the half.

8:43 – Badgers are taking too many threes. It’s been a while since anyone scored. Timeout with a minute left. In fact its been almost 3 minutes since the last basket by either team. MSU’s Lucas gets a runner to go, UW 26 MSU 22 with 30 seconds left in the half, and another Timeout means that Bo Ryan will draw up a play for the last shot, although I’d prefer a shot with about 7 or 8 seconds to allow a second chance. Now the announcers are telling everyone about the winter Madison’s had, as if its funny. Landry hits a 2 with 10 seconds left, and MSU won’t get the last shot off. Half ends with UW up 28-22. There’s Erin Andrews…

8:52 – ESPN’s calling this week in college basketball “Judgement Week” which is also the working title of the 4th Terminator movie, which follows an elderly Arnold around the retirement home with John Conners grandmother. I just think its a bit melodramatic.

I just saw a great commercial for this. I concur.

But back to the game – Goran Suton is really keeping the Spartans in the game. He’s got 12 points to lead all scorers. Strangley, Michigan State is out-rebounding the Badgers 16-12, but trail by 6.

9:05 – Spartans draw first blood in the second half, and cut the lead to 4. The refs aren’t going to call too many fouls, and the team that adapts best will win. 18 minutes left now, and the Badgers are playing tough defense.

9:08 – a couple UW free throws are followed by a runner by MSU’s Lucas. 16 minutes left now, UW inbounds with a short shot clock. it seems like the Badgers are forcing a lot of bad shots, but so is MSU.

9:12 – Krabbenhoft just fell over going up for a dunk. He looked like a deer on ice. MSU travels again, and then the Badgers miss another shot, and there’s been one mad FG by both teams combined this half.

9:16 – There’s now two made FG’s as Flower’s gets a layup in transition. He’ll shoot a free throw, but with 6:30 gone in the 2nd half it looks like this game could end up in the 40’s. The announcers want the low score to not seem so bad, comparing it to a pitching duel, but go back to UW- Duke to see what happens when a good defense meets a great offense. Drew Nietzel’s misses again and is now 0/6. I’ll save the disparaging comments for after the game.

9:22 – UW and MSU both get points on consecutive possessions. How did that happen?

9:24 – a Flower’s three makes it a 7 point WI lead, but Nietzel hits his first shot of the game (a three) to cut it back to 4. Both teams are picking up the pace. Annoucer just said quick release. get it? Quick Release?

9:26 – Butch hits a couple FTs to extend the WI lead to 6. Both teams are playing pretty good help D. Bo Ryan bio time, as the announcers completely gloss over the job he had at UW-Platteville. I guess 352 wins and 4 D3 championships are easy to forget. MSU cuts the lead to 5. Krabbenhoft hits a two with his foot on the three point arc. Who knew he had that kind of range?

9:32 – Neitzel can’t buy a shot. TV graphic shows that UW has only 1 turnover in the game. There’s 6 and a half left and Erin Andrews gets some airtime, but strangley they don’t show her on the screen, instead opting for dejected Spartans on the bench. Badgers lead 41-34

9:37 – Neitzel misses a three (again) and Brian Butch hits another three. someone just said “pronation” Here is a picture of Brian, as Erin Andrews is talking again, but is still not on the screen. Strange. Not as strange as all the backhanded compliments the announcers are giving Butch. He hits again, and the Badgers are running away now, 50-36.

9:42 – Butch is now 4/7 from beyond the arc. He’s probably the prototype that Bo Ryan looks for to run his swing offense. A seven footer that plays fundamental defense and can also play in the post as well as the perimeter.

9:45 – Hughes gets a bank shot to go in, and after MSU a bucket back its 55-38 with 2 and a half to go. It’s within the realm of possibility that the Badgers will hold the Spartans under 40. That’s probably the only reason I’m still watching.

9:48 – Krabbenhoft gets popped in the face and after UW controls a rebound (that’s right, MSU is still at 38) the officials stop play with 2:12 left in the game.

9:49 – ESPN2 names Michael Flowers as the player of the game on account of Drew Nietzel being held to 3 points, can’t disagree. MSU gets a two to spoil the Badgers chance at a sub 40 defensive performance. There’s a minute and a half left, and if UW can run the clock down here, they’ll have a chance to limit MSU to one more ….THERE”S ERIN ANDREWS!!! wow. I can’t believe it took this long for her to get some screen time. The announcers are praising the Nitty Gritty, despite the fact that they play that terrible Birthday song 5 times an hour. MSU gets another 2, but being held to 40 some points is still freakin’ embarrassing.

9:55 – Clocks done, game’s over, Badgers win 57-42. Here is a picture…

The Winter of Our Discontent.

Yes, I know, I’ve been on an unannounced hiatus. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of page views, as a good portion of my hits are related to the fact I host images of Gisele Bundchen and Jessica Simpson. I’ve resigned myself to the idea that people are less interested in what I have to write and more interested in titties. I must confess that my interest in sports also pales in comparison to my interest in boobs. I am no different than the average person who stumbles across this blog.

On the topic of sporting events: My copy of the 2008 Baseball Prospectus has finally shipped. Hooray. Upcoming is my preseason preview of the Brewers prospective bullpen lineup, as well as other baseball related content(hopefully including T’s Mets preseason thoughts). Trevor has promised an in-depth fantasy guide. Will he deliver? You decide.

In addition…

I have been promising the second episode of the Sparano’s. Will I deliver? If I don’t soon someone else will rip off my idea….Oh wait. Sparano’s — Soprano’s … It’s an easy word play, someone probably has already done what I wanted to, only better. So here’s what y’all came here for in the first place…

Until next time…

Because I am Lazy…

…I give you snow related car accidents….

and finally…